Why Do Failures and Mistakes Actually Make You Better?
There are no failures and mistakes.
You’ve heard that before, rah, rah, rah. It’s designed to make you feel better, right? It’s so prominent on social media with every other vapid affirmation that we hardly even read it, we almost never stop and soak that in.
I get it, believe me!
What if there was a REAL GOOD explanation or connection that could be made to spiritually break down exactly what “no mistakes” and “no failure” means?
What if this enlightenment clarified that mistakes and failures were by design; a working part of a grand plan?
What if failures and mistakes were necessary?
What if this rationalization cleverly explained to your soul’s satisfaction that every failure and mistake was your spiritual “North Star” pulling you back onto your path by causing the failure to happen?
As if your supreme destiny said, “Nope, you’re close but no cigar my friend; TRY AGAIN because you’re supposed to be over here.”
Maybe that was with a relationship.
Maybe a business decision.
Maybe a job that you’re not supposed to be at.
Maybe a supposed “lost” opportunity that shook your emotional foundation to the point of complete collapse HAPPENED FOR A REASON.
Watch this 3-minute video by Oprah. h/t to the 2 Steel Girls (@2SteelGirls) for turning me on to this
OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS 3 MINUTE VIDEO
Your “little mind” is where you are not centered, where you don’t know who you really are.
When you’re in your “little mind” speed bumps, pot holes, challenges, setbacks, failures and mistakes seem catastrophic.
Your “big mind” is where you are centered. You have clarity that you are part of something greater than yourself. I’ve spoken about this before in prior articles but I just love the language Oprah uses here.
Your big mind is where you relax and listen.
When you have the epiphany that the Universe is always as it should be, you don’t freak out about failures and mistakes.
Instead you listen.
You become STILL.
You breathe and try to receive the message that your supreme destiny is trying to communicate.
Failures and mistakes are quite necessary and happen quite often because they are there to WAKE YOU UP.
You’re in the wrong job.
You’re in the wrong relationship whether it be romantic or artistic.
You’re wasting time doing this because you’re supposed to be doing that.
For many of you, the terrifying reality is that your supreme calling is not the way you’ve conceived it exactly, at least not as you see it in your head, in your dreams. That’s scary.
I remember when I came to that crossroads.
The reality for me was that I actually was an artist, but not a musical artist as I had been trying to do. At least not in the way that I pictured it for so many years.
I was there for a reason and as such, there was a tremendous amount of serendipity in my life. That is to say things fell into place often.
That’s the sign of a correct path; serendipity.
We had some fateful coincidences in my first band Idols of American Youth, but it was filled with tons of failures and mistakes as well.
We had far more seemingly accidental fortune in Kidd Gypsy because that was also supposed to happen.
Which is funny if you seriously consider the fact that the singer in Idols was AMAZING and I was the singer/front-man in Kidd Gypsy and, as I like to say, “I had to claw my way to middle management” in the vocal department.
I was supposed to front the band all along. Talent was there but it just didn’t manifest itself in the same way for me as it did for the Idol’s singer.
Then another life changing moment when it was time for me to move on to greater things.
I sincerely remember thinking as I packed my bags to take advantage of a non-music business opportunity in Los Angeles that this was a step towards something great, the next right thing to do, and that it was all a part of me getting back to the music business somehow.
I knew I was supposed to return.
I didn’t know how.
I didn’t know when.
I didn’t know why.
I did have faith.
I WAS listening to my spirit guide, my North Star, the voice of my supreme destiny.
While I was in the electronics business working with a company that had a zero damage prototyping soldering solution (which is God-like when you consider how much the first 5 prototype boards cost for whatever widget your reading this on) the music business was changing.
Once the smartphone was invented and became super popular, consumers suddenly had choices in their cars with regards to music selection. The radio no longer dictated what we would listen to; instead we became our own DJ’s.
Then I moved on to the financial world and learned to build a team, learned to think bigger from friends like Eric Mitchell, and executed these kinds of plays in real life.
Then I lost everything.
My business because Wall St. closed its doors.
My savings because I had $15k per month of advertising expenses alone and ZERO dollars of income for well over a year.
My house because the market crashed and I was suddenly $250k upside down on an intelligent loan that had me with 40% equity when I signed it.
All these failures were my North Star, my supreme destiny pointing me back to the music business.
Yes, I was an artist.
A vastly different kind of artist that what I had originally imagined.
Now the serendipity is happening again BIG TIME.
My company doubled the first quarter of this year.
In the last month I have had more serious conversations with serious artists about marketing (aka opportunities) than I have had the whole previous year combined.
I’m supposed to be here.
The failures were horrible, devastating, and soul sucking to be sure but THEY WERE NECESSARY.
When your big mind understands how necessary failures and mistakes are to your journey, you don’t allow yourself to be thrown by a grade or by a circumstance because your life Is greater than any one experience.
Your journey is so much bigger than you.
The end of this Oprah video is the best.
It’s where she always asks people what they would say to their younger self and the answer is almost always, in one form or another, “RELAX”.
Everything is going to be ok. It’s really going to be ok.
Let the failures wake you up.
Let the mistakes give you pause to be still and LISTEN, and LEARN, and IMPROVE.
To be a student of the game requires guts, courage, work ethic, and fortitude.
Guts to risk failures and mistakes in the first place. Yes, you actually have to be willing to fail.
Oh, by the way, most people think failing on the dream or mission when they read the statement “You have to be willing to fail”. The Daredevils understand it’s not overall failure that this statement is pertaining to, rather, it’s all the little and big failures that will have to be endured to make the dream happen.
Courage to rise up from the ashes of one seemingly cataclysmic failure and move forward in the face of fear to your next mistake.
Work ethic to provide momentum which gives the brain reassurance that the last failure was but a small speed bump because hard work will easily roll over it.
Fortitude to internalize the realization that all the small dents and massive calamities are required to win.
I want you to win.
Eat these petty setbacks for breakfast, down your coffee, get up off your ass and work harder than you’ve ever worked before.
This is your dream.
Don’t blow it by willfully living in your little mind.
Be self-aware of your little mind and your big mind.
Don’t be overwhelmed by the difficulty because your life and your career is bigger than any one moment or experience.
Your life is not defined by any one person’s definition of failure for you.
If you’re not at ease with yourself right now, THAT’S THE CUE that you’re on a detour and it’s time to think about a change and LOOK for the next opportunity which is probably staring you right in the face as we speak.
Failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
If you found value in this article, please SHARE it and COMMENT below.